city of blinding lights;

FAIRYTALES -

just when i thought,
things are taking a change in my life...
i saw and realised the bad side of it...
so bad that i'm now all at a loss,
not knowing what to do,
how to get things over and done with...

it was initially a decision hard to be made.
but i settled it quickly and thought it was the end.
or should i say, a brand new beginning??
but no, this isn't the end yet..
in fact, the problems started arising the very next moment.
i'm caught unprepared when i got to know it.
and now, i really have no idea what should i do..
crying doesnt help, getting advices doesnt too.
really, why did it even happen to me?

after spending a few hours last nite talking to bro..
i know i have to make a quick decision this time..
but this decision will affect alot of things.
and i know things will never ever be the same again.
but even if so, i still have to make a decision.
for, i was lied to not for once, nor twice.
it was uncountable times that i was lied to.
but even if i follow what my heart says this time..
then why is it that i'm still thinking for him?
worrying that i'll hurt him deep with my words and all?
and what angers me most is that,
i dont know how to go about doing things, to get it done.

since last nite until now...
what caught me thinking non-stop is...
why did he even do that?
what was his real intention behind it?
does he even know what is he doing?
does he know how much he's gonna hurt me,
when i get to know about it, when i find it all out?
and lastly, could he even be trusted?

i've thought over these qns over and over again.
yet i still could not find an answer that is of help.
are things meant to go this way just for me?
i really dont know, i really have no idea.
just what am i gonna do for now?
someone, please tell me what am i to do now...

it was back then a decision to get things started.
and now it is a decision and a way to have things end.
but ending in such a way that no one's gonna get hurt...
is it more than possible to get it done smoothly & swiftly?

now, i so dont wanna face the reality
and hope to sleep in my world of fairytales.
and never ever to be able to wake up again...

posted by babies- @ 10:51:00 AM